i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
