i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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