I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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