I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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