Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?

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(916): View more from California

I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won

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(601): View more from Mississippi

She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.

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(631): View more from New York

I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?

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(817): View more from Texas

I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.

(682): View more from Texas

They're mostly guys

(817): View more from Texas

Early bird gets the worm.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars

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(574): View more from Indiana

Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.

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