I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
