All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
