I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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