there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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