Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
