i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
