I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
