you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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