im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just cropdusted the office
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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