i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
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