i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize