Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
