that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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