I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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