you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
