I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
