I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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