I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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