Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Oh god it's open bar.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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