Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
