No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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