Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
