Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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