from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
