ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
