I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
