I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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