last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
