been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
