My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just pee around me
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
