You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize