you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
