Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
