seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
