How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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