Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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