For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
