So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
