Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
