My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
