I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
