Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
