we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize
