We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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