my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize