worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
