conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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