you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
