dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
