i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Randomize
