you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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