she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
