Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
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I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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