i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
