I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
